I gotta say... I'm back and right on track. I've been kind of drifting aimlessly since I've come here in this foreign land, living in what seemed only to be a bland and tasteless dream, being lazy and feeling worthless. It's different now. All those things I've missed, neglected and ignored, I won't be able to pinpoint them as they're like fragments deftly stumbling into the realms of my consciousness, then escaping again just as quickly. And they're not the point here. Those important things that defined me, those that were drowned from my misery and lack of gumption, to name them would useless. They're inconsequential now. I may have forgone precious things. But I'm back on track and that's what matters. Aki Strife. I just gotta remember and hold on to it ever so preciously. Taking things for granted really is a sin.
It's not even a surprise nor it is a twist of fate that one unrated show brought me back to my world. An anime for that. Oh, how it's exhilarating to be back. I just feel so alive. Durarara. I watched it and all the missing pieces came tumbling back in one silent wave. I'm me once again and this is my world. It's core-changing, if it's possible to really change one's core. I just gotta write. When you realize what truly is important and relevant, you just gotta do what you've always done. As for me, it's to weave the story. Durarara. I just gotta bloody mention it. How I'll continue with my life from now on, I'm gonna owe it to this cool show. I'm not expecting many people to understand, I don't think many will see it the way I did--I'm just giving credits to where they belong is all. It's pure genius. How it captured the 10% of how the people and The World are, and I guess, how it gave me a good slap. I'd hit my head on the wall just to show how I approve of it. (that sounds a lil too extreme).
So yeah, The World's a small and big place at the same time. It's one big RPG maze and you're not always the center of it no matter how you think you are. But I'm gonna spend every single day from now on living My World as I've been doing when I'm a kid. My World. The Others'. The World. Three rings. Make things a lot simpler. I'm not the center of The World nor is anyone. But in My own World, no matter how twisted, corrupted, ugly or beautiful it can be, it sure would be comforting. So in the end, I guess the point is you just gotta define everything the best you can instead of taking things for granted and ignoring things. Big world's a frightening one but just as Celty said it, it's not all terrible. So instead of idling around and let the current take this poor lump of flesh o' mine, I might as well grab the oars and sail--be it against it or with it. If I'm going to recreate and live My World, I just gotta stay vigilant. Vigilance! You don't follow? Who cares.
Shizuo from Durarara
This is the expression I'm wearing now.
How Durarara has brought me back.
Hell, u'll not understand.
There's a lot I gotta owe to Durarara. Where I am now must be of The World's doing but how I got back the self and the spirit, this underrated show did the job. I feel like a tad more like myself now and a bit braver. I'm a pirate. How could I've been so useless and without will, I cannot fathom. How I could've neglected so many important things I cannot forgive. Those despairing thoughts I've held onto and those seemingly helpless situations, they were necessary too, I suppose. The World's so big, indeed. One has to learn to kneel before its prowess. But never to lose the spirit. That's practically the greatest fault.
Gotta give credit to Izaya Orihara of Durarara here, "If you really want to escape the everyday, you must constantly evolve." You must constantly evolve whether it's to go to a higher form or a lower one. You can move from one place to another but give it days, months or years and everything would just seem normal and repetitive and maybe boring. If the people and the things around you aren't changing, at least make sure that you do.
>>In my side of reality, I've finally transferred jobs. I wanted this. So I gotta prove just how much. It wasn't promised that it'd be easy, it would take lots of efforts and vigilance and I'm planning to meet the demands. You gotta sweat and bleed for things. That's the Principle of Equivalent Trade. What the job deserves, I plan to meet them. Coz backing out is not an option and being just the ordinary boring employee who lets her feet get dragged only by circumstances is no longer acceptable. Gotta manage the reigns now.
This is how one anime that people won't even spare a second glance at changed me. It's practically life changing for me. If before I'm just wandering aimlessly under the pool of circumstances, now my feet's planted firmly on the ground of reality. If I'm not ready for everything's that's coming my way, then I'll just be. The World just finally allowed me to once again have My World so we better not let chances slip.
My blood sings a merry tune.
For your sake and mine as well, just don't let me hear an insult to this show. ^^
And I gotta say I also love the Shonen Ai hints =)
And I gotta say I also love the Shonen Ai hints =)
