Lonely in Gorgeous

Sometimes, you just suddenly feel lonely—terribly lonely— unlike you’ve ever had experienced before. Without some sort of warning, without any clue, without minding the time of the day or the sort of company you have, that nagging feeling of loneliness could just creep on you, crawling like the little nasty bugger that it is and catching you in its nets out of the blue.  And then you miss people. You miss things. You miss the people you fleetingly knew, or your friends, your enemies, your childhood crushes, people that could’ve been your friends, people you hated, people you originally didn’t care enough about, and sometimes, people that you even haven’t met yet—the ones you likely may meet in the future—or hope to meet. It’s kind of absurd and without any rational reason behind it, that is, whether the prospect of missing people you haven’t met yet or missing a hundred lot of things at all because you happened to feel lonely… But when you miss people, you’ll also miss things or remember memories—some that are clear and colorful and some that have become a kind of blurry haze at the back of your mind, never resurfacing until you called for it real hard or your subconscious did. Funny how loneliness could get you some kind of perspective. Well, this is how I feel like. I feel kind of lonely. Like shit. This melancholy eating me from inside and out. And it feels like I’m missing something utterly important in the grand scheme of things.

Maybe this happenstance is only brought about by reading too much slash fanfics (mainly Johnlock fics at the moment)—and you must admit that reading wonderful stories of attraction (in my case, especially between two boys) bring some kind of pleasure of the highest kind—that incredibly painful tightness at your chest and that exhilarating giddiness and high…And I’m getting sidetracked apparently—Or maybe, this is brought on by the social isolation I’ve consciously and delightedly imposed upon myself while I was ‘in the heat’ for  the said JohnLock fanfics,,, In any case, this said loneliness made me (1) reacquainted with my blog and made me (2) click that little chat option in facebook which I haven’t bothered about for half a year. People. I just needed to be surrounded by people, Connect with people of all sorts—friends, acquaintances, crushes, enemies, strangers—practically anyone—and just feel alive—and grounded.

Note. Am posting this while braving being caught using the hospital net with something NOT related to work. I so, so hope erasing the net's history will do the job for me.