Coming out to a straight, male friend about writing porn-with-plot fanfics, I found out, was rather harder than coming out to the rest of the world about it. The world is quite anonymous, you can be indifferent with it and its creatures and care little to how it would respond to your secret little hobby. Coming out to a straight, male friend was way different compared to all the other interactions I've been through. With gay guys and gay girls, there's just an understanding and feeling of giddiness under the knowledge that they understand to the core by default. Coming out about it to straight girls just feel safe, sometimes just like sharing a meager gossip; you'd just be worried whether or not they'd persecute or damn you. At times, you'll just worry whether or not they'd paint your whole personality with one color because of that dirty little secret. Most of the time, you just wish real hard that they'd try to understand and not blindly see only that single face---for we all have many, many faces that could make out the whole. Coming out to a straight-male-friend, who already knew your hobbies and deep love for yaoi, that you're actually writing male to male slash porn fics and giving out the LINK so he could read it just feels... weird. There's an awkwardness, just a tinsy bit, but it was there. Just in passing, but definitely existent. In the end, I'm just rather proud and happy that the said friend would brave the dark waters he'd rather not tread upon. Seriously, thank you! i will not break my habit of giving code names, I'll call him Reindeer in this entry.
Will not even compare all of these to coming out to fellow yaoi lovers, though. That's just incomparable, a HUGE SMILE at that.
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My brother. He quite blatantly steps over the Family Code over and over. it grates my nerves. Love him. Hate him. Wish he would expand his horizon and understanding of the things that matter and realize how our mother constantly worries about him. I want to grab a fist full of his har and shake him crazily and wildly. Want to hug him tight enough to break bones.
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